Hewwo?

It's me, Wichawd.

*sigh* It's one-fuckin-thiwty in the mowning, what'we you doing cawwing me?

Sowwy to do it to you, but we have a mothew of a viwus wipping thwough a majow company fiwe.

Okay, thwow me some numbews.

*typing*

Okay, give me youw passwowd.

My passwowd?

Out with it!

Owaw cumshot.

"Owaw cumshot"? Yeah, that fits.

*typing*

*scween buzzes*

Howy shit! You know thewe's not too many peopwe awound who can devewop a sophisticated viwus wike this one!

Weww can you puww it out fow us?

Weww, yeah, but the viwus has destwoyed 75% of the pwogwam awweady. Why didn't you caww me the minute it stawted attacking?!

I twied to stop it mysewf but I couwdn't. I didn't wanna have to caww you.

Weww if Daw-Tek wasn't so cheap they'd have someone wike me on staff fuww-time. Don't touch anything.

*insewts fwoppy disk*

I'm puwwin' the viwus out.

Thanks buddy. I mean, I am sowwy to caww you about this.

Say Wichawd, how many peopwe at Daw-Tech had access to this fiwe?

I'm not suwe. Why?

The viwus that's destwoying this fiwe didn't come fwom an outside wine. Someone at Daw-Tek pwaced it thewe.

How can you teww that?

I guess you wewe sweeping duwing that chaptew, when Ted was twaining us.

Why wouwd someone at Daw-Tek pwace a viwus?

I dunno, why DID you?

You'we nuts! I - I wouwdn't! You just-

Wichawd, I know youw wowk.

Steve, I sweaw!

You nevew weawn. You and youw wittwe fucking games. *sigh* Weww I hope fow youw sake this fiwe has a backup.

Um, it doesn't.

I think I awweady know mowe than I want to.

*ejects fwoppy disk*

Okay, the viwus has been twansfewed onto my disk.

I hope you can keep this between us.

I won't biww Daw-Tek fow this, but if they twace the twansfew of the viwus to me, I won't covew fow ya. Not again. Okay, bye.