My dear friends!

TV is all about escapism, yet you want to escape?

C'mon and stay a while as I share with you the who, what, when, where, why and how of my genius plan!

Our scene opens on a little Mr. Puzzles (little Mr. Puzzles!)

Now, cut to him having no friends

It was a struggle to find anybody who could be my buddy (anybody who could be my buddy!)

So instead, I watched TV all day to forget about my troubles! (ooh, ooh ooh-wah!)

I was obsessed

I couldn't stop,

I wouldn't stop (no!) until I'd seen every moving picture that exists!

(So he made a decision to get into television!)

I CUT OFF MY FACE AND PUT A TV IN ITS PLACE! (ooh, ooh, ooh-wah!)

"Patience is a virtue," (ohhhhhh, woahhhhh~)

"Good things come to those who wait!"

Proverbs uttered by UTTER FOOLS! (ohhhhhh, woahhhhh~)

I'll do anything it takes!

(Are you ready for trouble?)

Got ya binge watching!

(You're stuck with Mr. Puzzles!)

You can't stop me from cooking up this instant classic (ooooh, wahhhh~)

You and your friends will look fantastic! (ooh, ooh ooh-wah!)

(The red carpet is rolled out!)

Come and get your tickets!

(Before they're all sold out)

Don't wanna miss this moment when those stars hit five

I get creative control of your real... LIFE! (creative control of your real... life!)

HMHMHMHAHAHAHA!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, excuse the interruption;

The following message goes out to the stars of our show: the SMG4 crew!

And we're rolling, let's go.

You wanna know why I chose you?

You wanna know why I chose YOU???

'Cuz you're the STUPIDEST SHOW THAT I'VE EVER SEEN!

And if I can make you entertaining, I can do ANYTHING!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(Are you ready for trouble?)

Got ya binge watching!

(You're stuck with Mr. Puzzles!)

You can't stop me from cooking up this instant classic! (oooooh, wahhhhh)

You and your friends will look FANTASTIC! (ooh, ooh ooh-wah!)

(The red carpet is rolled out!)

COME and get your tickets!

(Before they're all sold out!)

Don't wanna miss this moment when those stars hit five! (oooh, wahhhh)

I get creative control of your real... (creative control of your real...)

Grab a seat and let's seal the deal!

When those gorgeous stars hit five, (oooooh, wahhhhh)

I get creative control of your real LIFE!! (creative control of your real life!)

HAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA!

--and, scene! (hmmmmmmmmmm~)