Eee Eee

This Is What You Get

I hate the way I left you
No crumbs, no scars
Not even close
For you to be, to get through
To see whose one of us is worst.

Eee Eee написала
9 окт. в 04:36

Dear Idiot,

Hi. I know you think of me. I hate the fact that I thought you would be my lover, my brother, my son. Last September it felt like you were injected into my body like a virus drawing all of my attention. I was lost, and you knew it. On that night it felt like you knew it before we met. And I still don't understand what it was… Was I just blinded by my draft of attention? Were you influencing my thoughts, like a fucking vampire? Was it mutual attraction?
I don't know. And the last option is the worst of all possible. After a year now, I guess it's the most accurate.
I still think of it because I've never been able to ask it. You denied it, but after all I know you fucker pretty well, you do it all the time. So which truths I should believe? I don't trust myself since the day I realized I've reached the limit and I cannot keep going farther.
The only truth I know is that I'm coward little sheep. It would be fair for me to begin a relationship with you. To fall apart, to be destroyed again. And I would believe all of your lies 100%. That would make me someone who haven't learned their lesson even after all this shit has happened to me for years. And that's fair. But I've stopped it before the right moment.
Not because I am wise, but because I am a coward.
I know, you know, I've been on the wrong side this whole time. But it felt like you would never speak to me honestly. That's why I'm so self-assured.
But now you're just an echo of my sweet dreams that was curated by unhealthy standarts about relationships. Please let me go and let me live my life freely happy without remembering how I thought you are the one. I don't know why but I really wanted it to happen, now I'm scared and I regret that it even started. Because it still doesn't feel like it's the end...

Sincerely, but not yours,
Me

Местоимения:	она/её
Семейное положение:	Влюблена
Дата регистрации:	9 окт. в 04:34
Полит. взгляды:	Коммунистические
День рождения:	14 сентября 1996, 29 лет

Eee Eee

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