Dear Chasey Lain,
I wrote to explain,
I'm your biggest fan

I just wanted to ask,
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can.

You've had a lotta dick, (Had a lotta dick)
I've had a lotta time. (Had a lotta time)
You've had a lotta dick, Chasey,
But you ain't had mine.

Dear Chasey Lain,
I wrote to complain,
Ya never wrote me back.

How could I ever eat
Your ass when ya treat
Your biggest fan like that?

You've had a lotta dick, (Had a lotta dick)
I've had a lotta time. (Had a lotta time)
You've had a lotta dick, Chasey,
But you ain't had mine.

Dear Chasey Lain,
I wrote to constrain,
This letter is my last.

As your biggest fan
I must demand,
You let me eat your ass.

You've had a lotta dick, (Had a lotta dick)
I've had a lotta time. (Had a lotta time)
You've had a lotta dick, Chasey,
But you ain't had mine.

P.S.

Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties

P.S.

Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties

Would ya fuck me for blow?
---
2000

Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet.
Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket.

Batter-dip the cranny axe
In the gut locker.
Retro-fit the pudding hatch (ooh la la)
With the boink swatter.

If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten.
Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston.

Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle.
Cannonball the fiddle cove (ooh la la)
With the pork steeple,

If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Pronto
---
2005